


This Isn't the First 711 to Be Blown Up

by LiteralCancerTM, PartyBakingNinja, WatermelonAntlers



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Supernatural
Genre: Crack, F/M, M/M, Uhm what, it was a roleplay with my friends okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-13 01:37:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14739632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiteralCancerTM/pseuds/LiteralCancerTM, https://archiveofourown.org/users/PartyBakingNinja/pseuds/PartyBakingNinja, https://archiveofourown.org/users/WatermelonAntlers/pseuds/WatermelonAntlers
Summary: Absolutely fucking crack from a roleplay, and lots of swearing.I really don't know what's going on............Don't ask.





	This Isn't the First 711 to Be Blown Up

**Author's Note:**

> David, and Max: Bold  
> Gabriel: Italic  
> Peter: Underlined  
> Gwen: Bold and underlined  
> JD: Underlined and italic  
> Veronica: Italic and bold  
> Sam: Nothing

**David: HIYA FOLKS**

_ Gabriel: Oh look, a total idiot. Haven’t seen one of those in a long time. _

Peter: I like this guy.

**David: THANK YOU**!

_ Gabriel:... I thought we were friends, Peter _

Peter: UM, we are, but, this guy seems fun. Where are we going anyway?

**David: I SURE AM FUN AND WE ARE GOING TO LAKE LILAC!**

_Gabriel: No we’re not. We’re going to the 711_   

Peter: We can go to 711 and THEN go to Lake Lilac.

**David: THAT’S A GREAT IDEA PETER! WE CAN GET SLUSHIES!**

_ Gabriel: I don’t eVEN KNOW YOU AND NEITHER DOES PETER WTF ARE YOU?!?!?! _

**David: HEY YOU SHOULDN'T SWEAR EVEN IF IT IS AN ACRONYM**

Peter: Thank you, dude. See? He’s a good guy!

_ Gabriel: Whatever…. Imma go find Sammy _

**David: HEY DON’T LEAVE US FRIEND**

Peter: Yeah don’t leave me with a stranger I just met!

_ Gabriel: I DON’T FUCKING KNOW YOU!!!!!! Peter, c’mon, and leave the strange, homeless man over there. _

**David: FIRST: LANGUAGE. SECOND: I’VE ONLY BEEN HOMELESS SINCE CAMP CAMPBELL SHUT DOWN 2 YEARS AGO**

_ Gabriel: Oh, my ba- TWO FUCKING YEARS YOU DIDN’T JUST TURN HOMELESS JFC _

**David: lAUnGuAgE**

_ Gabriel: Fuck. Off. _

**DAVID: *GASP***

Peter: *leaves to go to 711 with Gabriel’s wallet*

**David: *Follows Peter* HIYA FRIEND**

_ Gabriel: *snaps all of the money out his wallet into his own hand so Peter got everything and couldn’t pay* _

Peter: Hey man! Want to go to 711? I think I have money to pay for both of us! *checks wallet* HEY! GABRIEL, WHY ARE YOU POOR?

**David: DON’T WORRY I CAN PAY I HAVE 10000000000000000 ROBUX**

Gabriel: *hears Peter “praying” to him* BECAUSE I DON’T NEED MONEY BECAUSE IM A GODDAMNED ARCHANGEL

Peter: Then can you give me some money please? *gives puppy dog eyes*

_ Gabriel: No. And only Sam can use the puppy eyes. _

Peter: Well then give me a slush.

_ Gabriel: No. _

Peter: Why not? You’re not my dad.

_ Gabriel: Exactly, so why are you asking me for money and slushes? Ask your new homeless friend. _

**David: SO WE ARE FRIENDS LIKE I SAID**

Peter: Yeah man. Introduce me to this robux you talk about.

_ Gabriel: *under his breath* when the fuck did I get in this 7-11 _

**David: JUST PAY FOR A COMPUTER FOR ME SO I CAN ACTUALLY GET ON ROBLOX AND I’LL SHOW YOU!**

Peter: I can make an account on my computer and then you can transfer money to me so I can buy some 7-11.

_ Gabriel: That doesn’t make any Goddamn sense and neither does this whole shebang _

**David: IT DOESN´T NEED TO MAKE SENSE GABRIEL! ALL WE NEED IS FRIENDSHIP AND A GOOD OL’ CAMPFIRE SONG!!!**

** Gwen (the clerk): oh god **

Peter: Well if you were ACTUALLY my friend you would give me some money! GABRIEL

**David: PETER THAT’S NOT WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR.**

_ Gabriel: That’s exactly what friends are for. _

**David: *suddenly collapses because it was actually Max pretending to be David while inhabiting a copy of his body.***

**Max: Ex-fucking-actly whatever the fuck your name is.**

Peter: And drinking at a bar.

_ Gabriel: What the fuck just happened? SAM _

Sam: *randomly appears* wat

Peter: HI SAM! We’re just going to 711 but Gabriel is being mean and not paying.

Sam: Why does he have to pay?

**Max: How the fuck do you know each other’s names?**

Peter: BECAUSE he is an Archangel and I have no money. Or robux.

Sam: That still doesn’t make any sense.

_JD: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU IN MY SLUSHIE STORE_

**_Veronica: JD that's rude, remember?_ **

Peter: To buy some slushies! Gabriel’s paying. 

_ Gabriel: FUCK NO SAM LETS GO *he and Sammy disappear* _

Peter: Um, okay. I get that i’m supposed to be a superhero, but screw this you don’t know i’m Spiderman I’m robbing this store! Don’t tell aunt May. 

**Max: There are security cameras dipshit.**

Peter: Well then walk outside so I can steal around 3 dollars.

**Max: *kills himself from the stupidity around him***

Peter: YES HIS WALLET IS MINE!

**Max: For fucks sake I’m ten, I only have like 5 dollars.**

Peter: *turns to JD* I want a slushie. It costs that much.

**Max: God fucking dammit you’re an idiot, I was saying that I don’t have any money.**

_ JD: Sorry, we don’t sell slushies to absolute losers. _

Peter: Sorry but I don’t actually care.

**Max: I suddenly like you just a bit more, now we just need to get you to swear and you’ll be like a jar of cookies.**

Peter: Thanks man! I don’t know what that means!

**Max: And he’s an idiot again. I made it up dumbass.**

_ JD: GET OUT OF MY STORE OR I’LL BLOW YOU ALL UP _

**Max: Bluff.**

Peter: OK *grabs slushie and leaves*

_**Veronica: Not again…** _

_ JD: *literally blows up his store, but, because he is a ghost, nothing happens to him* _

**Max: *the explosion didn’t affect him so he just sighs* God these people are retards.**

_ Gabriel: Max, we’re adopting you because these people are going to corrupt you with their weirdness. _

**Max: Nah, David and Gwen already adopted me at the end of season 2.**

Peter: Well if he’s taken… *bangs on window* ADOPT ME!

**Max: Why the fuck are you here again?**

Peter: I’LL SWEAR AND ALSO BE GAY!

**Max: Wait wait wait. You want _me_ to adopt _you_?**

Peter: Sure man. You seem cool.

**Max: Jesus. You’re like what 18?**

Peter: 16. And you look like 11. But, if you won’t take me, i’ll call on Gabriel Who’s not my lord and savior.

**Max: You do that.**

Peter: GABRIEL GET YO ASS DOWN HERE!

_ Gabriel: *from Heaven, probably* No. I’m fucking Sammy right now fuck off _

**Max: What the fuck**

Peter: Well, after will you sign some papers for me? Like 1000?

_ Gabriel: hahahahahahahahahahaha no. _

Peter: Ok, 1001. And without reading them. You can just snap your fingers, remember?

_ Gabriel: I don’t know what I would be signing if I did that and I’m not going to read it all so no. why am I down here again? And I’m naked this time. _

**Max: This is worse when I walked in on the Quartermaster and his BDSM fuckbuddies in the cave.**

Peter: SHUT UP DUDE. Oh, it’s just so I can be with another family across the world. Not in yours, obviously. But I need an archangel's approval.

_ Gabriel: just ask Lucifer. _

Peter: Oh hell no.

**Max: God.**

Peter: Don’t curse my lord and saviour!

_ Gabriel: It’s fine, Peter. He prefers the name Chuck, anyway. _

Peter: Ok, dad. Sign the papers, please? For Sammy?

_ Gabriel: SHIT! IGOTTAGOBYE _

Peter: Screw you dad. I know! I’ll forge his signature!

_ Gabriel: IM NOT YOUR DAD AND I DONT HAVE A-- GODDAMN SON WHY AM I DOWN HERE AGAIN WHERE EVEN ARE WE THE 711 BLEW UP _

Peter: You will be! And we need to stay here incase someone tries to take the slushie maker. I’m a hero after all.

**Max: The slushie machine is fucking blown up goddammit.**

_ Gabriel: I’m only interested in adopting Max, you’re too shitty, Peter. _

**Max: Yeah, um no thanks.**

Peter: I have to lick the rubble for slush now. And i’ll try not to shit as much dad. I promise.

_ Gabriel: I don’t take shits; I’m and Archangel, I don’t need to. _

**Max: You don’t even fucking question that.**

Peter: Then i’ll only do number 1 in the toilet. 

_ Gabriel: I don’t do anything of the sort, except cum. _

**Max: I did not need to know that.**

Peter: Sam does. SOOOO you can accept me too. I will not interrupt you, you may even be impressed by the last porn video I did. I was a star! *looks towards the camera* It was called “Incest in the Stark Family” on the ArchiveOfOurOwn account LiteralCancerTM, go check it out!

_ Gabriel: OK, this is getting too weird. END OF ROLEPLAY GOODBYE  _

_ Peter: WAIT! I NEED TO SHOW YOU MY VIDEO!! _

**Author's Note:**

> Satan_Wants_To_Return_My_Soul: David, Max, and Veronica.  
> LiteralCancerTM: Gabriel, Sam, Gwen, and the majority of JD.  
> PartyBakingNinja: Peter.


End file.
